It’s hard to tell if the producers of this Russian Kids Show are just dangerously ignorant, or have the sickest sense of humor ever. In either case, it makes for some great tv. If by great you mean awful.
So sit back and enjoy the fumes kids!
3/5 Balalaika’s for this nutty program.
The Soviet Union — the country that gave us boxing legends like the Klitschko brothers and Ivan Drago, has once again shown that pugilism has a bright future in the motherland. This little kid, who can’t be older than three or four, has a stronger punch than most grown men I know, myself included.
I introduce to you, mini-Drago, the undisputed champion of the sandbox.
Amazing kid, but points off for the unnecessarily long video (come on, we need bite-sized with our attention spans). 4/5 Balalaika’s.
This weeks rating system has a deeply cultural inspiration, the balalaika. No, it’s not a drunk’s failed attempt at making a guitar, it is an old Russian musical instrument of debatable and mostly unknown origins. Okay, so maybe it is a drunken attempt at a guitar.
But as we learned last week, the balalaika can have a pretty badass side to it.
So enjoy a new week of rating the web’s best Russian videos.
Holy crappoly Batman! (note to self — if you want people on this blog, never say that again)
It’s quite a miracle that this guy survived. It’s like a landslide-meets-Home Depot.
Good thing this guy survived! 3/5 Missing Soviet Atom Bombs.
We’ve seen Russian’s fabricate some amazing automobiles, but this is NOT one of them. What a waste of time, money and creativity.
So, 2/5 Missing Russian Nukes for the most useless contraption ever.
Watch as this Slavic Warrior demonstrates his deadly martial arts skills. Nothing stands a chance against this drunken warlord. Except maybe gravity. He seems to be struggling with that.
3/5 Lost Soviet Nukes to the Bourbon Brawler.
Russians and backflips. Sometimes they’re epic, sometimes they’re miserable failures. This one is definitely the latter.
I wonder how long before he realized that he was in serious need of medical help for his dislocated shoulder and misaligned vertebrate. He probably just grabbed a bottle and drank away the pain.
3/5 Missing Atomic Bombs for this gymnast.
If you’re doing a stunt where you jump out of a building, try to avoid splatting into the pavement. While it makes for good tv, it doesn’t do much for your health. Not sure if he was trying to bungee, zipline, or some combination of the two, but clearly this stunt was not thought out very well.
One never wants to be the test dummy of a bad idea.
2/5 Lost Russian Warheads for this failed adrenaline junkie.
I guess these guys decided that knocking on a door the old fashioned way was too uninteresting. Instead, this intricate, painful method was devised by our friends in the motherland.
I have never heard anyone laugh that hard at another’s anguish.
4/5 Lost Nuclear Warheads for these deep thinkers.
This drunk guy is relentless — he’s determined to appear on television. It’s unlikely that he even knows where he is, but he still manages to completely butcher the television interview. Everyone gets their moment of glory. Unfortunately, he won’t remember his.
4/5 Missing Nukes for making a mundane news report brilliant!
